Splinter (2008)

Hey everyone. So I have been surfing the net in search of new films to view (or old ones if I somehow missed them) and saw on IMDB that the 2008 film, Splinter, got a 6.4 out of ten stars in its user review. So I'm sure any normal person who read that would think, "Gee, 6.4 kinda sucks. And Pat's a moron," or something along those lines. But comparatively speaking, when looking through EVERY film in a genre especially if that genre is horror, 6.4 is pretty good. And man, am I glad my standards are that low, because this movie is surprisingly underrated.  It's one of those antagonistic virus/bacteria/micro-organism kinda movies with the like of Cabin Fever, The Thing, and every fucking zombie movie out there.  And it really follows through. It movie features a plentiful level of character development, and a movie monster premise that ends up surprising you even if you're ready for it. The gore in this one is good too without keeping the movie up all by itself, and the horror is not forgotten for even a moment in the film. This movie does not drag, is carries you along very well and doesn't let you get bored. I gave it a 8 out of ten. Definitely worth the watch.

Guinea Pig (1985)

So I finally got around to watching this one. One that now I'm disappointed to say has been on my watch list for a long time. Guinea Pig was the first of eight films in this Japanese gore series. An alternate title for the first film has been "The Devils Experiment" Since every film after this one claimed the same title as the first such as Guinea Pig 2: Flowers of Flesh and Blood, which I'm working my through currently. This film doesn't have much going for it other than the shock factor, which wears pretty thin when you start to realize that the female lead in this faux snuff film is not very convincing. I mean if I had the flesh in my arm get twisted with a pair of pliers, my reaction would be a little less like, "mhf >_< eh..." and a little more like, "AAAAHAAAGHHFFFFUUUCK!!!" or at least I'd like to think something like that would be normal. This film does have a nifty concept to it. "This is an experiment on threshold of bearable pain and the corrosion of the senses" dude. After that very promising (although unsettling) opening, i was really expecting more. I mean this really could have gone somewhere. Maybe sometime in the future, Quentin Terrantino will dicide to remake it as an actual fim. Or maybe even James Wan? (was that racist? I'm not sure. I dont think he's Japanese, but i doubt it'd mae a difference (he DID do Saw after all)) I'm sorry I didn't mean to double parenthesize.  But As it is, the movie not really worth the look because like I mentioned but didn't go into detail about, this has been on my watch list for a while BECAUSE I thought I might not be able to stomach it. But the gore is actually very tame. If you're a horror fan like me its not worth the plastic the dvd used to distribute it, and if you're a gore freak like me, then watch it anyway and sit through to end of the forty something minute feature till the needle scene. GET YOUR KICKS and have fun with it. i might do a review of GP2 FOFAB but I'm not sure it'll be worth it.

Arachnid (2001)... ON VHS!!!

One of my players broke my copy of
"Killer Clowns From Outer Space"

Okay. So I'm sitting at home alone with my kid. And after giving him his bottle, I decided i wanted to watch a movie (very little else i do anymore). I figure I might as well watch a horror movie since those are my faves and I wander into my study to see that I left all my VHSs on the floor sprawled out from when I wall trying to fix one of my ANCIENT VCRs. Anyway I look to the ground and in a totally "fuckit" moment i see Arachnid and decide "Ok, I'll watch this one uh-huh uh-huh." I put it in and get to sit through the Preview. ::sigh:: on a VHS video. COMING SOON TO THEATRES and all that mess for movies back in the early 2000s. Always Fun.  Now I'm not really going to review this movie in the traditional sense because... well... its not really worth reviewing. The acting is terrible, the guns look like toys, and the plots very mismanaged. The Spider was really cool though. I wasn't sure about the year when I watched it so I was expecting CG monsters (which used to suck) but instead I got to enjoy crappy practical effects and a fairly decent monster spider.  But what this post is really about is VHSs. I have a whole separate collection of VHS horror movies on my shelves and I pride myself on that fact. And they're so cheap to buy now (yes i still buy VHS movies). Because why not spend a buck or so to watch some two-bit horror movie. I'm not sure how much two bits is, but I'll assume its somewhere around that much. I watched Aliens on VHS not too long ago, perhaps earlier this week and LOVED it (I'll Likely right about them too after seeing Prometheus). But I love those movies anyway. And there's something nostalgic about watching movies on cassette. I hope I start getting comments on these because I know people are reading them. AND I'D LOVE SOME FEEDBACK!

Saw 3D

Well. Here it is. The long awaited ending to the franchise that will never be forgotten. a forced classic. I think there are a lot of haters for this series, but i would hope they would give it a second chance. As the movies went along i honestly started to think around the fourth and fifth film, "WTF" but I'm glad this series redeemed itself in my mind with Saw XI (6) so i could fully enjoy Saw 3d. The 3d is not over done and technically this is a well done movie, with a singular side note for the acting. But I'm glad that this series is over and I'm glad it ended with such a satisfying ending. One i never would've imagined. Mais c'est la vie. and its good too because this franchise was really thought provoking even behind the pointless gore which is no less appreciated. I LOVE Saw. I always did and always believed that one day it would make up for all the waiting and antici-pation. LOL i think that this little series can finally be put to rest, sitting on a shelf with all the other killer classics.

Noroi: The curse

I can always dig a japanese horror flick. They generally rock. But this one is just cool. I know not every blog can span pages and i dont intend on trying. But this film is great. Its a docu-horror type film told form the perspective and camera crew (primarily) of a paranormal investigator who believes that he has stumbled across an ancient curse that has started plagueing japan once again.
You can watch this movie no matter who you are. This film doesnt feel as japanese as some other j-horror does and the shaky camera stuff is "pro-grade" shaky (cameraman). This is a ghost story and an inteligent one at that. Definitely worth the watch. If you wanna try finding it its not too hard to find. Go to youtube and search for "Noroi" and you will find Noroi Part 1/11 and get watchin!

The McPherson Tape: Incident at lake county

This film was pretty cool. I have to admit. The acting was actually pretty intense for a bunch of nobodies. This film was apparently aired on TV as an "unsolved mystery" kinda thing. Wicked cool. This flick is worth checking out. I learned about while looking up fake documentary horror. And this one is like blair witch mixed with fourth kind. totally awesome. The film was kinda low budget but the faulty camera work hides it for the entire movie so its all good.

Search for "Alien abduction incident at lake county" on video.google.com. really really worth the watch.

Paranormal Activity

What this movie symbolizes is the return of suspense and terror in the horror genre. This horror flick was not just shocking, but scary. The first time you see this film, you will be in the back of your seat or under the covers in no time. This movie scared me. And after years and years of horror films, im pretty jaded since i tend to watch it all. This movie takes us back to the time of john carpenter and his original haloween. The suspense in a horror movie is so important for the success of a horror movie. I dug it and i dug every bit of it again when i watched it on DVD. (minus the shitty alternate ending.)

Waiting for PA2. Gonna be awesome!!!