Guinea Pig (1985)

So I finally got around to watching this one. One that now I'm disappointed to say has been on my watch list for a long time. Guinea Pig was the first of eight films in this Japanese gore series. An alternate title for the first film has been "The Devils Experiment" Since every film after this one claimed the same title as the first such as Guinea Pig 2: Flowers of Flesh and Blood, which I'm working my through currently. This film doesn't have much going for it other than the shock factor, which wears pretty thin when you start to realize that the female lead in this faux snuff film is not very convincing. I mean if I had the flesh in my arm get twisted with a pair of pliers, my reaction would be a little less like, "mhf >_< eh..." and a little more like, "AAAAHAAAGHHFFFFUUUCK!!!" or at least I'd like to think something like that would be normal. This film does have a nifty concept to it. "This is an experiment on threshold of bearable pain and the corrosion of the senses" dude. After that very promising (although unsettling) opening, i was really expecting more. I mean this really could have gone somewhere. Maybe sometime in the future, Quentin Terrantino will dicide to remake it as an actual fim. Or maybe even James Wan? (was that racist? I'm not sure. I dont think he's Japanese, but i doubt it'd mae a difference (he DID do Saw after all)) I'm sorry I didn't mean to double parenthesize.  But As it is, the movie not really worth the look because like I mentioned but didn't go into detail about, this has been on my watch list for a while BECAUSE I thought I might not be able to stomach it. But the gore is actually very tame. If you're a horror fan like me its not worth the plastic the dvd used to distribute it, and if you're a gore freak like me, then watch it anyway and sit through to end of the forty something minute feature till the needle scene. GET YOUR KICKS and have fun with it. i might do a review of GP2 FOFAB but I'm not sure it'll be worth it.

Arachnid (2001)... ON VHS!!!

One of my players broke my copy of
"Killer Clowns From Outer Space"

Okay. So I'm sitting at home alone with my kid. And after giving him his bottle, I decided i wanted to watch a movie (very little else i do anymore). I figure I might as well watch a horror movie since those are my faves and I wander into my study to see that I left all my VHSs on the floor sprawled out from when I wall trying to fix one of my ANCIENT VCRs. Anyway I look to the ground and in a totally "fuckit" moment i see Arachnid and decide "Ok, I'll watch this one uh-huh uh-huh." I put it in and get to sit through the Preview. ::sigh:: on a VHS video. COMING SOON TO THEATRES and all that mess for movies back in the early 2000s. Always Fun.  Now I'm not really going to review this movie in the traditional sense because... well... its not really worth reviewing. The acting is terrible, the guns look like toys, and the plots very mismanaged. The Spider was really cool though. I wasn't sure about the year when I watched it so I was expecting CG monsters (which used to suck) but instead I got to enjoy crappy practical effects and a fairly decent monster spider.  But what this post is really about is VHSs. I have a whole separate collection of VHS horror movies on my shelves and I pride myself on that fact. And they're so cheap to buy now (yes i still buy VHS movies). Because why not spend a buck or so to watch some two-bit horror movie. I'm not sure how much two bits is, but I'll assume its somewhere around that much. I watched Aliens on VHS not too long ago, perhaps earlier this week and LOVED it (I'll Likely right about them too after seeing Prometheus). But I love those movies anyway. And there's something nostalgic about watching movies on cassette. I hope I start getting comments on these because I know people are reading them. AND I'D LOVE SOME FEEDBACK!