WASTING TIME!: Eaten Alive (1977)

What I wanted to see.

What I got to see.... Throughout the
ENTIRE movie.
(Also, the exact DVD version I ended up buying)

OK! I wonder if... AGH! I had higher hope for this movie then I should have. I know that. But I fanboyed at the idea of a Tobe Hooper (director of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) movie featuring Robert Englund (Nightmare on Elm Street). WELL! I was severely let down. I really only watched this movie because it was 2 bucks over at my Half Priced Books, and I was looking for an excuse not to watch more of Lucifer Valentine's "Slaughtered Vomit Dolls".  Anyway, I sat down to watch this movie, and expected a masterpiece like TCM, but... well... It was very much the same style of directing. But it was not nearly as frightening, and just as cheap and Tobe Hooper's horror classic. Robert Englund, who of course played the iconic Freddy Kreuger from all of our nightmares, was moderately entertaining in the film, but did very little to save this Texan-Horror-Letdown.

The film begins with a girl who is working at a brothel and doesn't want Buck (Englund) poking her in the butt, SO she gets fired and sent out on the streets to fend for herself when she comes across a hotel witch is owned by a crazy one-legged old man, and terrorized by a crocodile. I really would like to go on with the synopsis and were this a video review, I likely would, but the girl is soon sexually assaulted by the owner and thrown into the lake where we DON'T GET TO SEE HER GET EATEN ALIVE BY THE CROC!!!!  I'm sure you can understand the disappointment. Several other character are introduced and quickly killed, INCLUDING THE GIRL FROM THE BEGINNING'S DYING FATHER who has been looking to find her and apologize.... so yeah, THAT plot didn't go anywhere. But eventually the remaining females in the hotel throw Mr. Crazy into the lake with the Croc and he is Eaten Alive and we are left with a shot of his wooden leg floating in the water.

I have a suspicious feeling this was actually meant to be better than it was. But to hell with it. This was really just me stalling from having to review Slaughtered Vomit Dolls and the rest of Valentine's Vomit Gore Trilogy. Anybody who reads this, please just wish me luck. And perhaps suggest other films to review in the future!